Parenting Teens in Foster Care

In NYC alone there are 16,000 children in Foster Care and each year about 1,000 of them age of care into homelessness in NYC. Many people ask where does the homeless population come from. Well now you know. Over 50% of the homeless population in America are people who once live in the foster care at some point in their life. Organizations like You Gotta Believe, The Older Child Adoption & Permanency Movement, Inc. are helping to serve this neglected population of children. YGB has already helped to recruit permanent families for teenagers in foster care in NYC.

We are facing a serious crisis in America. We have a fatherless generation, children growing up with no real connection with there father or a father figure. And this includes Fathers who live with there children but who don't really parent their children. Families are very disconnected and there is such a huge communication divide between the older and the young generation.

God's word tells us in James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
My wife Zola and I have been ministering to youth in foster care for the past 17 years. We are currently providing a home and a loving family for four teenagers in foster. Plus we are caring for another teen who was kicked out of his home by his family. So we have 3 nineteen year olds and a 12 and 13 year old. Is it a challenge? Yes. Is it impossible? NO. You may ask why do we do it? Well GOD has given us the love and compassion for them.

Of our five children we first connected with Teddy. Before we took Teddy in our home I built a close relationship through my program Beats N Blessings. And Channel 4 NBC News did a Father's Day Story on me which was aired in 2007. Here's the video for it
We have a very special family that God has put together. My wife and I have done something very radically, but has been so rewarding for us. It has truly amazed me how God has formed our family. We are not perfect because as you know there is no perfect family.

Our Pastor Pete Scazzero of New Life Fellowship in Elmhurst, NY just preached a sermon that I believe every parent should listen to titled "Honoring Your Parents". He mentioned that there are 4 Qualities that's needed to parent God's way.

1 - UNIQUENESS - God loves each of us based on our own individual UNIQUENESS. And parents need to care for each child according to that child's uniqueness. Some parents want their child to be a doctor of a lawyer, but what happen to what the child wants. Remember each child has a unique calling and design. What works for one child may not work for another. So it's very important to know your child and their strengths & weaknesses.

2 - INITIATES - God initiates by pursuing us. We love God because he 1st loved us. And each parent needs to pursue their child by taking the initiative to help that child in whatever way possible. Initiate Conversations, Initiate a Family Meeting, Initiate a Family Night Out. Don't just wait for something terrible to happen before taking the initiative. And most of the time the teen is going something you may not like to get your attention, so why not beat them to it by giving them positive attention. Take the Initiative!

3 -DISCIPLINES - Discipline takes time, care, thought, follow up and energy to do it well. Proverbs 22:15 says "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him."

Are we encouraging physical discipline? NO. In regards to children in care, if you hit them they may hit you back, plus corporal punishment is illegal with children in care. And there are so many other ways children can be disciplined.

Every child is born with folly. Just because a child is from Foster Care that doesn't make them any worse than your own biological children. Each child needs to be disciplined correctly.

4 - Power Under - Most parents like to "Lord it" over their children. Meaning they always want to tell their child want to do. Rather than seeing ways in which they can serve their child and see how that can push them up in life.

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God Bless