It all happen so fast I just tried to stay calm while addressing the situation. My 20 year old son was watching my younger sons (13, 14, and 14 years old) until I got home from work yesterday. They all know they are not allowed to have any company over when I'm not home so to my surprise not only did my 14 year old son RC have 4 of his friends in my house without permission. His 3 male friends and 13 yrs old female friend were in his bedroom with the door closed while my 3 other sons were in the living room watching TV. Upon entering my house I noticed that RC was very nervous as he paced up and down the house as though he was trying to figure out how he was going to keep me from finding out that he had 4 of his friend in his bedroom. His first mistake was that he started cutting off lights as to create a darkness so his friends could sneek out. This was a complete giveaway and I knew he was up to something. I acted like I wasn't aware of what he was doing and began to study his every move so that he could lead me to what he was up to. As soon as I turned my back and went up into the attic he immediately opened his room door so his friends could run out my house. I turned back around and caught all of them trying to sneak out and I told them not to be in my house when I'm not home. I asked RC to give me his sidekick cell phone and then began to curse me out telling me he's going to F#%$ me up and wanted to fight. Of course I wasn't going to fight him, but I guess because he was so embarassed because he got caught so he got angry and began to push me and become very violent. I told him he's not allowed to have friends and the house and that he needs to stop disrpecting me but he continued to curse me and threaten to beat me up while pushing me. I walked away from him and then I spoke to the 13 yr old girl about how she needs to respect herself more and not be in my house with all these boys locked up in the room with her by herself. I asked her and the boys to leave and they did.
Then I went to go tell her father next door that I caught his daughter in my sons bedroom. As I was ringing his door bell my son RC threatened to bust out my car windows and bang up my BMW. I thought he was bluffing and I just ignored his threat as I waited for my neighbor to answer the door. As I was standing there I began to hear a lot screaming and him banging on my car from the kicks and punches. I was shocked I couldn't believe he would take the disrespect further by trying to destroy my car. Above is a pic of my car before the damages. His friends and my son JD pulled him away from my car before he could do anymore damage. He left dents and scratches all over my car. Then he ran off making more threats about hurting me. My neighbor's 19 yr old daughter answered the door and told me her parents weren't home so I told her to have them contact me when they get home. RC ran off with his friends down the block and latter on that evening we found him at his friends house and went to go get him. I spoke to the police about filing a police report in hopes of using the proof to have the agency pay for the damages and the police said they will have to arrest him if they see the damage on my car because it was a criminal act. I told them I didn't want' him arrested and that he was only 14 yrs old. The officer said it doesn't matter he committed a crime. Well to make a long story short I managed to get the report out of them without him getting arrested so I have proof of what happen on official legal record. I must admit I struggled with this decision because I was obviously angry about what happen.
Before we went to pick him up he was making more threats about beating me up and banging up my car. As you can imagine I became very angry but I did my best to keep my cool. To keep myself calm I drank a few glasses of wine as I spoke to friends and family on the phone. I began to speak to my 20 yr old son SD because he was suppose to make sure that there weren't any problems in the house until I got home. He claims he didn't know that RC was not allowed to have company in his room and that he didn't know a girl was in his room. Then he became somewhat disrespectful with me about it saying why am I coming down on him because it's not his fault. Rather than escalating another situation by arguing with SD I held off on that and went back to dealing with the other problem at hand. Eventually the parents of the 13 yr old girl came home and I explained to them what happened. They apologized to me and said they were sorry I caught her in my house and that they will speak to her. I told them it's not their fault they don't need to apologize and then they went in the house to speak to her.
My son RC went to his friends house and we went to go get him after finding out. He reluctantly came home and when he got home I didn't speak with him because he still looked very disturbed I didn't want him to explode again. He got a bowl of cereal and just began to eat while sitting in the living room looking at me, then he went up into my son JD's room and began to play with the techdeck (minature skateboard) toy and ramp I just purchased. He went to bed and so did I now it's a new day, Thank God. The sun rose and I was so thankful that dreadful night passed. Hopefully today I will be able to have a talk with him about his outburst and disrespect towards me.
His social worker was notified and now they are working on finding a respite home for him for this coming week. Especially because it's spring break and he's out of school for a whole week while I have to work. Hopefully the respite will make him become more aware of what he has as a result of living in my home for over a year. I treated him like my very own son since he has moved in. Hopefully respite will help him to appreciate all the things he has as a result of living in my home. Last summer I took him to Disney World for vacation and had a wonderful time playing with him in tennis, racquet ball, swimming, getting on rides at Disney World etc. He has been treated like royalty in my home. He hasn't been treated like a foster child in my home he actually has been treated better than the average teen in America. He has his own room with TV and cable, a sidekick cell phone, numerous pairs of Jordan Nike sneakers, a MAC laptop computer, a house key, a room key, fashionable clothes, etc. When his older brother JF was home from Penn State University he tried to speak to him about being more respectful and unfortunately it didn't sink in. Him and his brother living in a former foster home where the foster parent would only allow them to use the bathroom 1x a day and they were only allowed to wash up in a puddle of water ankle high in the bath tub that only she prepared. Unfortunately he needs to learn how to appreciate the love and care he has been giving in my home and there is obviously some things from past that he still needs to overcome.
Please pray for us as we move forward. Thank You! and God BLESS! Have a Happy Easter Weekend.
